My Critics, My Friends

"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things." - Winston Churchill

I've spent the past two years collecting rejection letters from agents and publishers. If I were to print them, I'd have a fistful.

The generic "this isn't right for our list" letters don't bother me. Even the ones that say "memoirs don't sell" don't get under my skin. But when a letter is more specific and there's some possibility the agent or editor could be on the right track, I get twitchy. And that's what I need to attend to. The more twitchy I get, the more likely they are on to something.

I choose to believe that the vast majority of people in the publishing industry work there because they love the written word. But they are also bombarded by so many submissions that they have to make a quick decision based on their gut and their experience in the market. Do they miss from time to time? Of course! Remember Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? It received 121 rejections before going on to become a best-seller. But more often than not, since editors and agents work in the field, they know what they are talking about.

My job is to not let this feedback derail me. My biggest critic is myself. As a child, I may have internalized my perfectionist father or a teacher with biting words, but now that I'm an adult, it's my voice I have to deal with. My job is to listen, thank the voice for trying to help me, because that's what it thinks it is doing, and figure out if there's any truth it it.

It's very similar to what I do with an agent or editor's specific response. I thank the person for the feedback and for taking time to respond. Few editors and agents reply at all. When one takes the time to write something more than "it's not what we're looking for," I thank them. Then I let my emotions simmer and let the feedback sit.

While I'm waiting for my jets to cool, I do something else. I might read someone else's work and offer feedback. I might submit to other agents or publishers who only want a proposal, a query, or a few chapters. That way, if I decide to revise, I'm sending parts that won't be changed later. Or I enter contests that have upcoming deadlines so I won't miss an opportunity. I stay busy.

Once I'm calmer, I look again. Is there truth in the feedback? If so, how can I incorporate it? I try to see the critic as a friend. I'm not alone in this endeavor. There are helpers all along the way.

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