Many of the comments my Goddard MFA advisor, Aimee Liu, made on my manuscript (working title: Memorial) apply to any piece of writing.
I thought I'd share them with you:
* What gets our attention is the promise of a struggle among equals - a good fight with an uncertain outcome. If your story can't deliver that, you have no story.
* We need to know everything that's at stake in your [main character's] death. To know that, we need to know as much about those losing him as we do about him.
* Where is the conflict?
* Think of your [characters] as sparring partners. Show us how they spar. What are they sparring about?
* How is [the setting] a metaphor?
* Dialogue should read like a game of ping pong.
* What does each detail mean emotionally?
* What were you thinking? What was each main character thinking?
* Where is the conflict?
* Whether or not you [the author of a memoir] were actually there, we need to feel that we [the readers] are in the room with these people.
* Search for all the imperfect verbs (would be, etc.) and change them to past tense (was, etc.).
* Why should we care?
* Give us the moment.
* How did what he [the main character] said or did affect you? How did you react? How did the other main characters react?
* Where is the conflict?
* Give us the split perspective. (e.g. your viewpoint of an event when it happened contrast with how you see it now)
* Where is the conflict? Where is the conflict? Where is the [you guessed it] conflict?Labels: creative nonfiction, Dad, memoir, metaphor, MFA, writing